The first and foremost reason why God allows us to go through a single season in our lives is because He wants us. God wants us! He wants us to fall passionately and deeply in love with Him; He wants us to learn about Him, tell Him about ourselves, talk to Him, sing to Him, dance for Him, paint Him a picture, laugh with Him, etc! He wants us, and everything that comes with us! He paid the highest price possible for us, and He wants us! If you didn’t experience a single season, and went straight into relationship after relationship, then you would constantly be distracted, and not make time to fall in love with Him. Plain and simple; God needs to be our Number One in our lives. We want, want, want from God, yet we barely stop to think about what GOD wants for us, what we can do for Him, how we can serve Him, how we can worship and praise Him and how we can fall deeply in love with Him! Before He shares your heart with an earthly man, He wants to first make sure that by adding ‘the one’ to your life, that it will only end up making you love Him even more! You and ‘the one’ will become one body and unit, serving, praising, and loving God with all of your hearts! But that can’t come about until you both learn to do so as single individuals, without the promise of ever having an earthly marriage.
This brings us to our next reason for single hood; becoming a complete, whole individual without a spouse/romantic relationship. Many girls buy into the lie that they can’t be complete with a man. Let me tell you, you are complete as long as you are in love with The Man! Jesus Christ fills a void in your life that nothing else ever can; sadly, many people try to fill it with men, drugs, alcohol, partying, being popular, etc. Nothing—I repeat nothing—can fill that void except for a personal, growing relationship with the King of Kings, Jesus Christ! Being single is when you discover who you and what you are made of. If you enter a relationship not knowing who you are, what you believe in, what you stand for, what you like, what your morals/standards are, then it will fail. You may convert to his beliefs—or lack thereof—and you may change to please his interests. God doesn’t want that for you. He wants to be the only person gently telling you if something in your life needs a makeover (such as being impatient, dressing provocatively, etc) to better reflect Him. When its just you and God, then you can be molded into who you are through Him, and become a whole, complete individual—without even needing any earthly man in your life!
This after all, is something we should expect; to be single for life, yet satisfied fully through God. After all, we are not guaranteed that we will find an earthly spouse during our time here; however Psalms 37:4 tells us “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Once again, if we solely focus on loving God and growing in Him, then all else will fall into place according to His will for your life. You may be thinking “Well, the desire of my heart is to get married, so that means I will get it, right?” Actually no…you see, sometimes the desires of our heart becomes shaped into the same desires and dreams that God has for us—which is beyond what we could ever dream up! Whether that includes a husband or not, all the love we could ever need/want is satisfied through God Himself! Even if marriage happens, our husband could never love us more then He does! So, this single season helps prepare us for living a happy, thriving, fulfilled life—without a spouse! All our needs are met through God Himself! Being single prepares us for whatever path God chooses to lead us down; single or married.
Your current single life of living at home with the family is the perfect training ground for either direction in life because;
1. It Helps You Install Virtues; if you can learn how to be patient by waiting your turn for the shower after 8 siblings and a dog take one before you(and consequently the water is now freezing), then you can be patient with your own future husband, future children, future co-workers, future in-laws, future (fill in the blank here). Your family tends to be the hardest people to be patient with; so if you can conquer being impatient with them, then you are set for life! Your family is really the best training ground for practicing and gaining the virtues of life; whether it’s allowing your sibling to watch the show they want too instead of you watching the brand new episode of your favorite show, or doing the dishes for your sibling who still has to finish their math homework. Opportunity is smothering us within our families, and it’s all a blessing in preparing us for our future lives—whether we spend it as a single or married!
2. It Helps You Learn Basic Life Skills; When you are single and living with your family, you can learn so many basic life skills, that most singles choose not to learn while they can, and suffer from it later. For example, can you cook? I’m not talking about throwing a frozen pizza in the oven! I’m talking about actual home cooked meals, with good, nutritional value and great taste. After all, whether its preparing food for yourself, friends, visiting family, your husband, your children, your in-laws, etc, the ability to cook is one highly prized and of great use! Why not start practicing from the safety of your own home? You can start small and try your hand at making eggs for breakfast—practice making them a bunch of different ways. Watch your mom cook in the kitchen, and volunteer to help her. Take advantage of learning how to cook without having to sign up for a course!How about finances? After all, whether you are budgeting for yourself, or for a family, you need to know how to be financial smart and fit for life. You need to learn how to shop smart, learn how to tell what’s the better value for your buck, how to set aside enough for basic necessities such as the electricity bill and house payments, etc. Why not tag along grocery shopping, and watch your mom hunt down the best bargains? Why not pick up a pair of scissors and help her clip coupons? Why not going along with your dad as he makes sure that the car he’s getting is a good deal? Why not practice by budgeting your allowance or current part-time job income?
Being single is not about moping about your room, looking out the window, waiting for some boy to throw a rock at it, and for your life to begin. Newsflash; your life is happening now! Seize it! Take advantage of it! See this single season as a blessing, not a curse! It really is a beautiful gift from God! You will never need a man besides The Man—Jesus Christ!—to fulfill you! The only way to be complete and feel whole and worth while is through Him! Live your life vibrantly and thank God for this single season—this season of opportunity to serve, worship, and fall madly in love with Him!
Will the world approve of you seeing being single as a positive thing? No way! It’s the world—anything they say, shouldn’t go! Your own family and friends may even be giving your grief about being single; they may say things like “When are you gonna get yourself a man?”, “What are you waiting for?”, “I want some grandchildren someday!” Whenever you feel down, lonely, and discouraged, remember this; Jesus went through the same thing. The world hated Him. Did He let that get Him down? No way! He changed the world, and created a way to save those drowning in their daily sins! He reminds us in John 15: 18 "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.” Talk to God when you are feeling down and lonely! He does understand, He does care, and He does have a plan for you!
Are you seizing this most important, crucial and set-aside-time for growing single season, or are you wasting it away, and being ignorant of the fact that God wants you now, and want to work through you, and mold you into something truly one of a kind and beautiful?
Wake up, and seize the day for Him!
Soak up these Words of Truth from God’s Holy Word, the Bible!
- “And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” – Phil 4:19
- “These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
- "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."-Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV)
- "So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom."-Psalm 90:12
- “God makes a home for the lonely; He leads out the prisoners into prosperity, Only the rebellious dwell in a parched land.” –Psalm 68:6
- "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:"-Philippians 1:6
- “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” –Jeremiah 29:11