When I first decided that I was going to go back into the high school, I knew that I needed to be completely sure of what my goals would be in going back to the high school, and that this was exactly what I was supposed to be doing. So I took some time praying about it to see God's opinion and have his hand in the process. When I felt that God was saying yes to be going back to the high school, I knew I had to keep a few very important things in mind. The first is that there is no way I can survive this on my own. I mean really, trying to survive in a public high school is kinda crazy! Without God in the picture, I knew I would fail. I also knew I not only needed to maintain a close relationship with God throughout my time at the high school, but he needed to be my main focus the entire time. Nothing could be placed before him or this was simply not going to work.
Well these goals started out fine in the beginning. The first few weeks of high school were great. I was focused. I kept God close to me by keeping him in my prayers, thoughts, and actions throughout every day. I kept a close relationship with him and as long as I did that, I did way more then survive at the high school. In fact, one could almost say that I thrived there. But then I started allowing other things to appear more important. Other things would take up my time, my thoughts, and my energy. Instead of spending time talking to God, I would be spending time worrying about an upcoming test or what someone would think about me if I did this or that. Well, I'm sure I don't have to tell you that I was destined to start failing. And fail I sure did. I actually started coming to a point that I was no longer craving talking to God. I was getting so caught up in all these other worldly things that I was starting to no longer see the big picture. My view was becoming more and more limited. I started being more stressed out, not having as much fun, and snapping at my friends more. Things were not working.
“No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money." Matthew 6:24
"And he said to him, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'" Matthew 22:37
So is we are supposed to love God with all of our heart, all of our mind, and all of our soul, then that means there is no room for anything else. Nothing should ever take God's place. Well the more time that I spent worrying and stressing or being occupied in other things that were not about God, the more that I started taking my eyes off of God and I started allowing my heart to stray away from God. This was exactly what I knew I could not do in the very beginning when I signed up for public school. I knew I needed to be completely focused on God. Not partially focused, but completely focused. So this was where I went wrong.
So here is my encouragement to you. Keep focused on what really matters in life. Instead of worrying about that big test you have next week, if you and your best friend are still going to be friends in the next 2 years, or if that cute guy is going to ask you to the winter dance, spend some time getting to know your creator. The more and more you get to know him, the less and less time you will spend worrying about these little things that don't matter. The results will be beautiful. :)
“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” Psalm 46:10
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